I had a conversation with a roommate yesterday, and I was enlightened to an interesting fact. In the English language, whenever tragedy happens or something emotional from our past is unrooted most people in the affected party’s support group encourages that individual to ‘get past’ it or ‘move on’.
What does this move on really mean? And why does it seem so visceral and picturesque. Can we really ‘move on’ from tragic events or lost loved ones? My roommate doesn’t seem to think so, and deep in the middle of our past-midnight conversation when I used those words he was adamant in his disagreement.
He said that moving on, getting past, and getting over all imply that there is an endpoint to the pain, tragedy, and loss which accompany traumatic experiences. But in reality, he continued, there is no end. It appears the phrase ‘Time heals all’ is not entirely true. At least not in the particular light which most people see it.
Time allows for reflection. It is only through reflection in which we have the ability to see the previous situation in a different light than what it appeared as before. Throughout all of the events that I have experienced in my life one concept is important and deserves rapt attention: good and bad are determined subjectively.
My roommate continued by saying that he thinks we do not ‘get over’, ‘get past’, or ‘move on’. We simply accept the fact that at that time we did not have the control or insight we have now.
The past is the past. Some events suck, and some are blissful. Regardless of the nature of our experiences, the simple act of participating in them at the time and reflecting on them renders any occurrence in our life useful.
Ensure that your tragedies fuel the fire for future success.