Insecurity

I read an article this past week from Mark Manson’s blog that talks about insecurity.  The word insecurity gets thrown around a lot in this day and age, and I think that the concept people talk about it poorly defined.  Insecurity is defined as uncertainty or anxiety about oneself.  It is the lack of confidence to purposefully, openly, and honestly expose your thoughts and emotions to people.  

I just recently started going out at nights more with friends.  Never being into the bar scene myself, I still oftentimes feel uncomfortable talking and interacting in situations when there is alcohol involved.  For reasons I do not know, drinking brings out strong feelings of insecurity I have about myself and I find myself doing things and participating in conversations in which I would normally not engage.  This results in me entering into uncomfortable social situations in which I ‘chug on forward’ even when I feel awkward.

Many times the day after feels like I made a mistake because I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and somewhere that feels strange and unknown.  I would ask some of my friends for feedback and whether or not times were good or things went well, and many times they would provide support.  But I must have been asking a lot, because the other day a friend of mine asked me a question that rang into my ears and reached deep into my gut to tear out all of my feelings of self consciousness and lack of confidence.  

I asked him whether he thought that I do well going out and whether I’m fun to hang around with in those situations.  He asked me, “Are you really that insecure?”  I thought about it for a second, struggling with rising anxiety and uncomfortability, and came to a resounding conclusion.  I am insecure about this particular aspect of my life, and it’s ok.  The acceptance of my temporary feelings of insecurity set me free from the vicious cycle of avoidance and fear which plagues everyone who refuses to enact change in their lives.

Insecurity is avoided in our culture.  People attempt to cover it up, avoid places, experiences, and new things which could bring up these feelings, and do everything in their power to stay within their comfort zone and think and do things that feel comfortable and familiar.  People tend to be more willing to verbalize their dreams and categorize them away.  This method seems easier to accept for people who are not willing to throw away their pretensions of themselves and their ‘abilities’ and go for broke.  A quote from a member of a trio of individuals who started an extremely successful youtube channel involving picking up girls models this issue perfectly:

So to answer your question, how did I make that "leap" it's quite simple:

Once people become aware of something it can propel them to change. So the fact that I'm telling you that a LOT of people won't do anything will be enough for many of of you to actually take action. It's a weird but effective truth.

When I realized that most people didn't do shit with their lives, I made it my fucking MISSION to not be part of that crowd.

-Jesse

So be like Jesse from Simple Pickup and multiple other successful achievers and ‘doers’ throughout history: push yourself out of your comfort zone to and accept insecurity.  You’ll be glad you did in the future.